[Tangential] 020805

020805.
...
Seven words.

i would like to say hello.
but
before you even bother to mention your day, i know.
i know that you will say those very things that will tear my walls down and claw my heart out.
i know plenty well what kind of hell you'll drag me into.
and all with your words.
seven of them,
magnificent in their malice,
all lined up like a firing squad in mid-electric slide, waiting for that heavy based heart to drop, that crisp snared sanity to snap;
trigger cocked, moot point blank,
voice waiting to do damage like a rusted tuskeegee musket in mid-thrust, its single eye dwarfing the entire field of my still healing vision.
frankly, you blind me with every shot,
sniping at my senses with confusion wrapped in crimson caliber,
you pierce my treasured chest with the hawkeyed zest of a right-winged ringside manager.
you're very aware of the adage: distance makes the heart grow fonder;
i wonder
how close should i get so i might earn resentment? shall i latch onto your words in hope that liberty bells might crack my porcelain eggshelled pride?
every statement of love's processes crosses my mind with a double-edged entendre:
you love me not but desire me still;
you covet another but willfully smother me with remnant passions
all while fashioning your sleeveless heart in the cloak of wishful thinking,
as if glass slippers would silence the sound made by severing my heartstrings;
as if the faltering power of your crystal ball gave credence to use desparate sorcery to conquer all of my faculties,
as if
as if you reached into my thoughts and tried to read my mind,
as if you understood my soul and tried to direct my dreams,
as if you calculated the benefits of whispering untold secrets with seductively cold steam.

you truly must be joking
because there's no use in the 'what if,' the 'i wish';
because if anything, you deserve not to know.